Intro to Japanese Etiquette


"I have become all things to all men that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I might share in its blessings."
1 Corinthians 9:22b-23

 

When visiting a new country, understanding some of the culture prior to arriving is vital for communicating love. If you do not take the time to learn, you will be ignorant of possible offenses that you may commit, which can lead to strained relationships from the start. In addition, when you arrive, you should remain a learner. Watch your Japanese friends and imitate what they are doing or ask for help in understanding the Japanese culture. Remember you are here to learn.

The following list is the basics of Japanese etiquette. It is not an exhaustive list by any means, but it should help you understand more of what life is like in Japan.

On Being a Guest...

        Remember when you arrive in Japan, you are a guest here. Be sure to be profusely thankful for the kindness that you receive. The Japanese will want to take care of you as you are a visitor in their country. Allow them to help you and show your gratitude. Your gestures of thankfulness will be remembered and appreciated. In addition, at all times, remember to be very polite. Japanese, themselves, are extremely polite, and you are a guest in their country, so be sure to show respect. Through your actions you have the opportunity to communicate the love of Christ; take hold of it.  

To Bow or Not To bow?

        One thing you will notice about the Japanese is the respect they show each other through bowing. You will not be expected to be fully aware of the complexities of the bow, but knowing a little will help you communicate love. Bow from your waist with arms straight at your sides. As well, imitate the bows you receive; doing this will help you know the depth of the bow and other details. Remember that bowing is part of the greeting, so do not get caught up with bowing and forget to actually greet the person politely. After a while, you will find yourself bowing automatically.  

Hygiene:Toilets and Baths

        Two things that you will definitely notice about Japan are the Japanese-style toilet and the onsen. While many places have Western-style toilets, you will encounter Japanese-style ones as well. When this happens, remember to squat facing the raised hood of the unit. As well, do NOT sit on the Japanese-style toilet. Keeping tissues with you is also quite helpful as not every bathroom has toilet paper or paper towels. The other new experience for most foreigners is the onsen or the public bath. Going to one of these baths during your time in Japan is quite likely. While this may seem awkward at first, it is to be a relaxing and enjoyable experience. Before you enter the bath, you will first shower and clean yourself off. Then you will enter the bath and relax. Many onsens will have different baths, go ahead and try different ones and enjoy the experience. Remain the learner and try to refrain from criticizing these two new things. If you allow yourself, you may actually find yourself enjoying them.  

Shoes and Slippers...

        When you come to Japan, you will find yourself removing your shoes quite often. When, where, why, and how shoes are worn in Japan can be confusing. Generally, shoes are not worn in Japanese homes, temples, inns, and various other public places (including some restaurants). Again, following the lead of your Japanese friends will be very helpful in these situations. As well, slippers will often be provided for you. These slippers generally fall into two categories: house slippers (for walking the halls, but remove before walking on tatami) and bathroom slippers (remove the house slippers, put on bathroom slippers, and when you leave the bathroom, be sure to remove the bathroom slippers before exiting and put the house slippers on again). Another helpful hint is to not wear socks that are dirty on the bottom or have holes in them; remember you will be removing your shoes.  

Eating...

        There are many things to be aware of when it comes to eating in Japan. I will not share everything, but only the things that I think are crucial for you to know. First, it is impolite to refuse food that someone has made for you. You will experience many new foods while you are here, try them and do not complain. While the taste may not be what you are used to, it will not make you sick. As well, you should try to finish all your food (even down to the last grain of rice). Japanese moms have told their children forever that it takes six months to grow a single grain of rice.

        Drinking or eating while walking down the street is considered impolite, as is chewing on a toothpick or licking your fingers in front of others. If you must use a toothpick, cover your mouth with your other hand. Before eating, you will say "Itadakimasu," and after eating, you will say "Gochisosama deshita." These words express gratitude for what you have received. Picking up your rice or miso soup bowl and holding it under your chin to keep stuff from falling is normal in Japan. In addtion, while in Japan, you will use chopsticks often. Do not use your chopsticks to skewer food, move food around, nor pass food to another's chopsticks. Do not point at somebody with your chopsticks nor leave them standing out of your food. Watch how you Japanese friends use them and follow their lead when in doubt.

        Lastly, with you Japanese friends it is not necessary to treat them often to meals, as this will make them feel indebted to you and feel pressured to treat you to an equal or greater meal in the future. In addition, you will find that you will eat with people quite often. Take your time to enjoy your meal and try new foods. You may find that you like things that you never thought you would. As well, your Japanese friends will enjoy your effort to understand their lifestyle, which definitely includes Japanese food.  

Everyday Living...

        Basically, using your manners will help with everyday living in Japan. Remembering appointments and being on time communicates respect and value to the other person. As well, avoid shouting loudly across a room to get someone's attention; approach them instead. When visiting someone's house, it is rude to show up empty-handed. Bring some snacks, fruit, or drinks when you visit someone. Gift giving is also very important in Japan, but extravagant gifts require an equal or slightly higher extravagant gift in return. Avoid giving pricey gifts. In more formal circumstances it's impolite to unwrap a gift someone brings you as soon as you receive it. In casual surroundings it's normal to ask the giver if it can be opened now. Also, receive gifts with two hands with your palms facing up. Japanese will notice and appreciate this action very much.

        Many gestures are different in Japan than what you may be used to. Japanese will use their open hand when pointing to someone; do not use your finger to point directly at someone. The Japanese gesture for "Who, me?" is pointed at their nose, not their chest. To gesture "Come here," put you palm down and raise and lower your fingers a few times. The Japanese gesture for "no" is fanning your hand sideways a few times in front of your face. The more time you are here, the more accustomed to these gestures you will become.

        One thing that I want to emphasize is avoiding complaining about things that are different or things that you do not like. This whining helps no one and only strains relationships and shows disrespect. Memorize Philippians 2:14-16a: "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life."

        As you live in Japan, you have the opportunity to express the love of Christ and truly display His humility through the way you act and learn. I, again, encourage you to do so.    
 

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